Ending a relationship is starting a fresh life
Here are 10 tips when ending a relationship
1. Honour yourself first and foremost. This does not mean to be selfish or ego-driven or greedy or dominant. This means, know what is right for your mental, emotional, physical health and wellness and honour that! Also, know if you are not right for the other person and honour that too!
2. Get yourself very grounded in your truth. What is in your heart. Separating is emotionally messy and hard and it can cause emotional confusion for all involved. These heightened emotions cause a lack of clarity around what is the best or right decision to make or what is the best or right thing to say. When you get very clear with your heart’s truth and you get very clear with your language so you can clearly articulate your heart’s truth, it helps you to stay grounded in your decision and not waver off your decision, especially in a heated highly emotional moment. It helps you to communicate yourself and to stay the course of your decision when the other party may be having an emotional meltdown. This will protect you from becoming emotionally played or hijacked.
3. Remember people operate out of either wound or love. If someone is operating out of love, (not wound) they do what is pure and good and right for all involved, even if it’s hard. It might not be easy, but it is right. Decide to separate from a place of love, not from a place of resentment or bitterness.
4. Be goal-focused. See clearly what it is you wish to achieve, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Write it out, feel into it. Visualise it. If you can’t see clearly what you want, start with what you know you clearly don’t want.
5. Sit in love. Act out of love. Respond with love. Ask yourself how would love respond? This means you set the tone and you stick to the tone. Don’t let anyone else’s tone hijack your tone! You love yourself and you love the other person (even if you’re mad with them or even if you don’t like them), you love them. Eg. In order to honour each other and to honour yourself (to love yourself), it is best not be in a romantic relationship.
6. Steer right away from blame. There are all sorts of reasons people behave the way they do, and, we are not always self-aware enough to understand some of these behaviours. It is easy to play the blame game, but, it is a defective strategy and it is not taking the higher ground and it is not operating from a position of love. If someone tries to blame you for something, take the higher ground and take responsibility for things that are your responsibility and ‘let go’ of someone else limits. Meaning if blame is their strategy, you can let them know you are sorry that is how they feel. But you don’t have to take the blame for what is not yours to take and you don’t have to be hijacked by that line of conversation. Unless you’re in a court of law 🙂
7. You don’t have to engage. Just because someone sends you a message or decides to evoke a certain conversation, you don’t have to engage in that. You can choose your communication when you are ready and when it is right for you. You don’t have to answer the phone and you don’t have to be defensive and you don’t have to care about what someone else is thinking or saying about you. You only have to focus on putting your self into wellness evoking situations. Mental, emotional wellness situations. In your own mind and in your own behaviours. Anchor into your higher ground and into the goal and vision that honours what is pure and good and right for you and your heart and your life.
8. Use your support network. Talk it out with people who’s advice and who’s morals and values you trust. If you think you are going to enter into reactive communications that are only really tit for tat, spiralling into negativity where there is nothing good waiting for anyone, call a friend instead.
9. Don’t drunk dial. This kind of speaks for itself, but, separating is emotionally painful and tumultuous even if it is pure and good and right for you. Going backwards from your original statement to separate because it is what is pure and good and right for you is the pathway to misery and mixed messages.
10. Don’t use guilt and don’t have it used on you Guilt is a low blow strategy. It is not operating from love. It is not operating from your higher ground. If someone tries to use it on you, tap back into your intentions and your goals for separating. Your intentions and your goals are all about doing what is pure and good and right for both parties in the fullness of time. There have been things in your relationship that for both of you, are not your finest hour hence the reasons for making a level headed, emotionally evolved, mature decision.
You have to forgive yourself and the other person for bad behaviour, (we are all on a learning journey in this crazy life) and you have to move on and stop allowing it to continue. Learn and grow.
If you need support with your relationship, reach out now by using this link. https://roslynloxton.wufoo.com/forms/m1glok2w11b9ouh/
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