To be a success, too many women think they have to be some kind of super-human in their role and their way of being ‘good enough’ is to do it all.
For it to be right they have to do it them self, make it perfect, play by someone else’s rules, be competitive or deplete their own soul in some way.
If you’ve been feeling insecure or pressured in your role, highly anxious, clashing with that one person, maybe seeking solace in wine, short tempered with your family, avoiding social events and feeling exhausted by this cycle, you think this is how it has to be!
But honestly, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Recently I was talking with a friend of mine who was exhausted mentally and physically and had even started dreading going to work soon after her promotion.
She needed wine to unwind and she’d hit the pillow soon after dinner.
She woke up lack lustre.
She dreaded driving into work.
On top of all of this, she couldn’t bend over backwards enough for her kids. She was doing everything for them and trying to manage everything in her household and family.
Despite putting on a brave face, things were pretty joyless and she had really gotten into a cycle that was depleting her life energy and her spirit.
No sex either!
She started skipping lunch breaks and taking work home.
She socially isolated to try and regain some energy on her weekends.
None of that worked to improve her energy or how she was feeling in her role.
When she came to me for some help, she had even started taking antidepressants.
Loads of good women have a very similar story.
Depleted, stuck in a momentum, feeling like they are a bit powerless to change things.
But, in their heart, they want more!
And, if they are a bit honest with them self, they want way more!
But there’s fear.
Loads of great women actually don’t realise they are running patterns of chronic people pleasing syndrome fuelled by some pretty powerful but covert subconscious beliefs:
- “My parents didn’t love me enough”
- “I’m unloved, not loveable”
- “I’m unwanted, not accepted”
- “I’m rejected”
- “I’m left on my own”
- “I’m abandoned”
- “Someone important left me”
- “Someone important is/was not there for me”
- “I’m alone, lonely and/or isolated”
- “There is something wrong with me”
- “I’m bad”
- “I’m not good enough”
- “I’ve let others down”
- “I’m let down by others”
- “It should not have happened that way”
- “I’ve lost someone/something I love”
- “I feel bad for others”
- “I’m not able to do what I want”
- “I’m unprotected, unsafe, weak and/or vulnerable”
- “I can’t stop bad things happening”
These covert stories are not as easy to detect in yourself as you may think.
Most women don’t actually realise they have a subconscious belief interfering and it’s holding them apart from their fullest happiness and empowerment and goals.
Once we identified the chronic people pleasing in my friend and we cleared some of the fears she was running in the background she completely turned her situation around.
She woke up her natural confidence and her zest for her days and she is feeling inspired, empowered and like a super valued member of the team now.
There are 7 major solutions for ‘chronic people pleasing’ and any self sabotage holding you apart from your deep wells of potential and purpose and happiness.
Email me on coaching@roslynloxton.com.au and I’d be happy to share them with you.
