Reducing Anxiety

Reducing Anxiety

The tool of perspective for reducing anxiety. This is a coping tool by reducing anxiety and stress. It is a tool that will also, when used over and over again, help to reprogram your brain’s propensity for hope and optimism and reduce the brains propensity for overwhelm, stress and anxiety.  Because the brain is a habit machine, we need to teach it better serving habits. The Clarity of distance This is like a rescue remedy when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. For many of us, it is possible that our neural pathways and therefore our cellular memory has formed the habit of stress, anxiety, overthinking and overwhelm as its ‘norm’. It feels like a familiar vibrational energy to hold in the body.  To the degree where, it may seem foreign to imagine life void of this vibrational energy.  What might it be like not to feel the stress or the overwhelm or the anxiety or the overthinking or the worry?  For some, it is difficult to contemplate not holding this vibration.  The brain in this case, really needs to be gently retrained. Clarity of distance is about drawing yourself up out of the detail so that you are not immersed in the situation or the drama (immersed like a piece of bread in a pond) that would cause you to feel hijacked by the fear, the worry, the stress of an ‘in the moment’ situation or an ongoing situation etc. When we find ourself getting hijacked by fear, stress, overwhelm, anxiety, energy we have just pinned a meaning to the situation.  We have just flung ourself into the...
The secret about FEAR

The secret about FEAR

The self limiting… ‘WHAT IF’ fear. What if I do transform? What if I step into my full potential and my truth and my on purpose life? What if I do stand out or shine? These types of statements are grounded in FEAR.  FEAR OF SUCCESS or FEAR OF TRANSFORMATION , FEAR of change and for some of us that means FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. We have become very practiced at holding certain stories within our psyche and we have become very practiced at living with the energies and emotions and the physical and emotional results that holding those stories as our truth, manifests for us. So, in order to release ourselves from these FEARS that seem like legitimate responses that we should listen to, we have to practice the very powerful tool, the very useful exercise of  making the unknown and the unfamiliar, THE KNOWN and the familiar. The more acquainted you can make yourself the more known and familiar you can become with the stories that are your greatest desire for yourself, the less UNKNOWN they will seem to, the less UN-REAL they will seem to you, and the more APPEALING they become and the more ‘YOURS’ they become and the more INEVITABLE they become. The FEAR of the unknown, the FEAR of your change and the changes that may ripple on as a result of your personal change is a signal that we are subconsciously responding to and buying into a defence mechanism, without questioning the basis of fear. We have been functioning with those age old emotional programs most of our lives and so, they...
HELP!  I’m Motivationally Challenged.

HELP! I’m Motivationally Challenged.

There are definitely many reasons that can attribute to why we feel like our motivation has left the building. Here are a few you may relate to and you or someone you care about may be tucking in to one or all of these. Lack of goals – leaves us feeling lost or bored or lacking purpose and can lead to mood disorders like anxiety and depression. It can lead to distracting behaviours like drugs, alcohol, comfort food and low productive activities, like too much t.v. watching or pokies or electronic distractions. It is a fundamental human need to feel like you are a part of something and that your daily thoughts and efforts fulfil a sense of your reason for being, your higher purpose. Not having a sense of your big why is a common cause for low motivation. SOLUTION: have goals Not achieving goals we have set – feeling deflated, disappointed, sad, defeated and possibly pessimistic because we didn’t achieve goal/s. Making it all mean something that leaves us feeling negative as opposed to reframing the situation in order to find the useful learnings and takeaways, making it mean something that reignites our motivation. Packing up the goal posts and walking off the field as opposed to having resilience and creative determination to maybe, change the goal posts and keep on keeping on. Of vital importance with our goals is to celebrate our victories constantly instead of only weighing in on the big hairy audacious goals. What have you achieved? What are all the daily victories. What is great about this? SOLUTION – heed the below warning. WARNING: if you...

Getting along better with family

Most of us in society can share stories about ‘that’ family member that just doesn’t seem to know how to play fair or ‘be normal’. It can be any family member and for many of us, it is one of our parents and so often, it’s Mum. There are so many ‘Mum’ stories out there when it comes to people complaining about their family. It’s not just Mum and please don’t think I am pointing blame at anyone here. We all need to take responsibility for how we feel within ourself and what we do in order to create function where disfunction has presented itself. Many of us have to some degree have or do experience family disfunction. It can range from low on the spectrum to high on the spectrum. There are a variety of things that can hold family disfunction in place and in many cases there are varying degrees of mental health distractions that are at play in the disfunction, meaning old outdated near pathways from our childhood. One person’s behaviour is clashing against another person’s expectation. Families and those collective individuals making up families can be very complex and so, often the challenges or disfunction is due to a layering of reasons as opposed to one simple easy to pin point reason. Here is a 15 min blog on how to keep it simple despite the complexities. It is a principle, a practice a discipline and if you nail it, you will have a much better experience with those family members that you otherwise allow to challenge your inner peace and...
Resolving Conflict

Resolving Conflict

It would be an ideal world if we could see conflict as, a need to try and understand one another better than our current level of understanding.  As opposed to, assuming you need to make the other person completely wrong. “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” — William James To add to that, the question to ask yourself to check in with your own attitude is, how rigid or justified and negative do I feel?  That is an indication of where your attitude is at. If handled effect­ively, conflict can be an opportunity for learning, growth and positive change. Click to tweet In the workplace or in any relationship, conflict can be an opportunity to learn and stretch and grow as long as there is an open attitude of first seeking to understand before seeking to be understood. Note:  Just because you do give people the space to communicate their perspective does not mean you are agreeing with them, it means you are stopping and listening long enough to completely understand where they are coming from. In some instances people can experience a rise in emotions and in some cases, some folk are less adept at regulating emotions when their emotions start to fire up. This means the emotional response can over power the initial intent or the ability to ground, listen, empathise and consider other perspectives and other peoples thinking.   A few tips: Not all people are created the same.  Largely our ability to process and handle conflict comes from our family system.  It’s faulty to assume the...